The Radical Life: You Have The Right To Be Happy

Hello, welcome to the first post in the series of “Radical Life” because a Radical Feminist needs to live her politics.

You Have The RIGHT To Be Happy 

I could end this post with that, but I need to explain.

A little background. I was in a toxic Co-Dependent online friendship with a very toxic woman, and I eventually had the courage to block her, and she responded by trash talking me all over the net and spreading rumors and lies about me.

I felt guilty for it because I worried I had hurt her despite the friendship making me miserable and upset. I worried that I had hurt her too much, despite the fact is was the best thing for me.

But there is something I learned. I am not required to please anyone at the expense of my happiness. And neither is anyone.

If someone or something in your life is making you miserable, you have the right to get them or it out of your life. And you should do it with no guilt, but easier said that done.

While men can defiantly be matyrs, I know women have it much worse. We are taught at a young age that we are “maternal” and “nurturing” and that when we grow up we will take care of our husbands, children, and almost anyone else around us.

We will take care of everybody except ourselves.

Women are bad at self neglect. We spend so much energy on others that it is often hard to take moments just for ourselves. And many of us feel guilty when we do. We are also taught to be people pleasers.

Many of us get in at least one unhealthy relationship with a “troubled” young man with the belief that all it will take to “fix” him is love and understanding. This never works out. I will not say “almost” works out because it never does.

It is not your job to fix anyone. It is their issue. And if you try to “fix” a man it will only lead you into self neglect.

One thing is that women will often do things that should be for us, but in reality it is for someone else. Take exercise for instance. Exercise is a wonderful and important part of self care, but instead of doing it for joy , the pleasure of moment, or our own health it is often done to not get “fat” and keep the men in our lives happy.

The thing is that we often take care of everyone, but ourselves. Many women feel guilty for asking their husband or partner to look after the children, so we can have time for ourselves.

Let’s consider the fact that when the father is at home, it is often called “baby sitting” despite the fact he is looking after his own children. And he is given credit for it, despite it being daily work for a mother.

Many women think that if we try to be happy or put ourselves first for a little bit that we will be neglecting or families or careers.

Men are not taught this. Many man will be playing on a PS4 while their wife is potty training the toddler. Never bothering to ask for help.

In the end, we make ourselves miserable by trying to keep others happy.

This needs to stop. We have the right to say no. We have the right to ask for help. We have the right to do things for ourselves without being called selfish.
We have the right to be happy and guilt free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty: The Unnatural Divide Of Women

Every woman since girlhood has been part of a beauty pageant, that none of us asked or signed up for.

We are all taught to reach for a standard that very few women can ever reached.

We see her everywhere. We all know what she looks like. She is young with a slim frame that’s only fat in it are found in her are her breasts and buttocks. Her skin is white, her hair and eyes are light. She is tall with an unnaturally clinched waist.

Very few women can match this type and almost all who appear this way have been air brushed.

Then things like toxic make up is taught to us as fun, despite it being dangerous to our health and finances, along with ridiculous high heel shoes that women have injured their spine over.

And many workplaces require such standards for women while men only have to be clean shaven.

Women restrict needed food and vitamins in order to reach an extreme ideal of thinness even if it goes against what their body wants or needs.

Some women have even began to do spin and organ damaging waist training that moves and puts organs in unnatural positions and permanently damages the back and spine.

Even in parts of the world where fatness was once the ideal, White Western society has imported images of thin and White women into their media that many women in these cultures have begun to diet. And not to mention that skin lighting creams are a billion dollar industry in the Global South. In Korea, women regularly get surgery to widen their eyes due to Western influence. Black Women have been encouraged and pressured into using damaging chemicals, which ruins their naturally beautiful hair, to fit into White Standards.

And many aging women will spend a small fortune on Anti-Aging Products that have little evidence of working

We see her everywhere and her influence has only widened with the spread of Western Style Patriarchy.

But the truth is that she is like Big Brother, a symbol, a possible myth, and pure and utter propaganda with Western Style Patriarchy.

She is used to divide and conquer women by making us enemies of each other.

I am not of the belief that all women are meant to be in a sisterhood (I have known women that I would rather live on the streets than with), but there are barriers that are set up against us in order to hurt us and by doing so we hurt other women.

Men are not held to these standards. We have seen men who are tall, short, thin, fat, and muscle in films, TV, and Books who are heroes and always get the standard beautiful heroine.

Men have words like burly, beer belly, or dad bod, to describe their fat bodies, when such doesn’t exist for other women

Many popular misogynists on the internet and traditional media are often fat and they will tear apart a woman’s looks, especially, feminist women’s appearances.

One of the best examples is Laci Green. I am no fan of Laci Green’s Male-Pleasing-Feminism, but the comments on her videos over her weight are unfounded. She almost perfectly fits into the ideal, but men are constantly mocking her weight, despite her thin frame.

Beauty is unnatural because if it was natural then all women would be thin with big breasts and buttocks, light skin, straight and blonde hair, with a barbie doll waist, and a thin nose.

But women are wonderfully diverse.

Women are beautiful because we are diverse.

Women can be fat, thin, muscular, any any combination in between. Our skin can be as pale as the shinning moon or as dark as the majestic night. Or hair comes in many textures. Our noses can be small or thin, eyes many shapes and colors. There is beauty in wrinkles and gray hair.

Our features and bodies are endless and that is beautiful.

When you start to notice and appreciate the wonderous beauty of women who don’t fit the mold, we can learn to laugh

We can learn to say no to men and the pressures they put upon us to stop tanning, deadly cosmetics and shoes, tanning, skin lighting,  dangerous diets, and waist training.

We can learn to love ourselves as we are.

And probably even more important…

we can learn to love other women